paintings invite you to cry with them
in the museum
sitting ensconced by the stoic walls
all white
and the various seething portals,
a sobering sterility is not so
for one who sees,
each row of eyelashes enmeshing,
like the way listless fingers link,
this very last time you’ll ever meet
Lucifer and me
on the schoolbus
climbing the tree
being horny
therein weeping
Lucifer,
a little pink seed
ever waiting in the wings
AN OCEAN, BLACK
ALWAYS AWAITS
At MJ’s his pad, and then was with someone family def before that, not immediate, some father, def maybe brother maybe mum, we were all there hanging out [or family trip].
comes time to go, getting into a van or on bus of some kind.
Saying farewells getting on, give Mike a hug
Before boarding the thing, we hug deeply and as we embrace feel myself totally let go and release and start weeping heavily sobbing, it is so sorrowful.
i feel deep compassion and caring from him, very affection and like he knows the depth and pain within me.
After boarding the thing we are about to move off
then i leap off the bus thing. it simply continues on as if i did not just do this, or fam was totally unaware i had jumped ship. mike just accepts it, almost as if he knew i was going to do it.
* * *
Mike says how he knew i really wanted to stay and that he is glad i made the decision.
it seems to be his house where we are, not the main ranch, but just a nice mansion, shiny things, gold, a fire place, plush looking things looking like they are made of expensive fabric and expertly made.
there is something almst like a montage, of us hanging out, having good times and being fun and so happy there is so much joy it is overflowing the fabrice of the reality.
there is deep conversation, and i sense that he askes me specifically what the matter is, (the reason i am weeping so deeply), but i…i dont not recall now……