Category: diary lol

I was in ashes before, out of love.

Ive been researching methods of castrations. there is the pricey surgical way that may likely be well done, but almost no one will do it (unless under particular circumstances.)

There are pills.

There are d.i.y. ways, some that seem outlandishly painful

I force myself into daylight. it’s a little enjoyable on my short walks

The firs ttime i was in my teens. i walked into, basically, an intervention ( i can feel the lead ball right now as if drops in my stomach ) — my immediate family all around the table, a seat for me between my mother and father, and my mfather at the head of the table

My brother had found a notebook of mine in which was write (dont remember what exactly atm) something about wishing some fatal incident befall my father.

I shot up from the table cuz i had to barf my brains out

My body quakes