Category: diary lol

For the life of me i cant find that hundred dollars grandma gave me for christmas. it wasnt where i thought i put it when i packed and i was unpleasantly surprised by this

This is just further evidence that money doesnt want to have anything to do with me

I dont feel too upset about it; really im used to not having it/enough, used to losing, and suddenly, either accidentally like this, or thorough extortion by the government, both federal and local.

I wonder if, in this way, i’m to be fucked til im dead. theyll probably find a way to fuck me then too. maybe i stole something pretty big in a previous life

(minutes later)

suddenly minded of this time in japanese class,
i was reading aloud from a passage and,
in response to my reading it with some hesitation or secret trepidation,
Professor said,
both playfully and teachingly in the same moment,
“don’t be weak,” with this funny lovely slanty smile,
reminding me of stories with the savvy-street-urchin-with-a-heart-of-gold character
who helps the protagonist along their path with a childlike matter-of-fact’ness and piercing insight

i spend a lotta time by myself these days. think about what Tony the door man said – i dont remember it all – perseverance, dont give up

People whove been through some shit can see when ur on the edge